Is sexual addiction really an addiction or is it just an excuse for bad behavior. With 1 to 3% of the American population being sexually addicted it is a problem that we need to be aware of and sensitive to in order to help those who are suffering from this addictions.
Almost every adult knows that there are some men and women who are more highly sexed than others. Now we hear more and more about Sexual Addiction. But, is sexual addiction really an addiction or is it simply an excuse for bad behavior? A kind of “I'm addicted so I can't help myself” mentality.
According, to mental health professionals sexual addiction is a very real and often very dangerous addiction. Not only is the addicted person liable to be unable to work or maintain any kind of normal male/female relationship but, they are also likely to indulge in risky behavior that can jeopardize their life and the lives of people who they have sexual contact with. According to statistics between 3 and 5% or 15 million people in the United States are believed to suffer from sexual addictions.
Are All People With High Sex Drives Sexually Addicted?
Many people think that everyone who has a high sex drive may be suffering from a sexual addiction. This is not the case. A person with a high sex drive may enjoy sex more than the average person but, they can and do control their behavior. Also a person with a high sex drive prefers having sex with their life partner and doesn't look for sex outside the relationship. A sexual addicted person, while he may know that he is engaging in risky behavior has little control over indulging in that behavior. Also despite constantly masturbating and indulging in sex with multiple partners the sexually addicted person seldom gets any real enjoyment out of the sex act itself.
Signs Of A Sexually Addicted Person
For the sexually addicted person every waking moment is consumed with sex. They have difficulty focusing on anything else. Here are just a few of the signs you may see in a sexually addicted person.
Lack of interest in their partner. Treats them more like a roommate that a lover and when sex does occur it is either perfunctory or they ask their partners to do things their partner feels demeaning.
Compulsive masturbation. Even when their partner is available and willing they are often hiding in the bathroom at home, at work, even at parties seeing to their own needs. They feel no satisfactions from masturbating only guilt.
Excess Pornography. They not only view pornography incessantly, but, try to hide what they are doing. If confronted they will lie stating they had no idea how that magazine got in their car, or those sites got on their computer.
They indulge in phone or computer sex (cyber sex) on an ongoing basis.
They indulge with multiple nameless partners oftentimes more than one in a single day often without any means of protection.
They exhibit themselves to unsuspecting people.
They indulge in sexual harassment and inappropriate sexual comments.
As the addiction progresses a sexual addicted person may actually begin to partake in serious criminal sexual behavior such as:
Why So Few Sexual Addicts Get Help
Sexual addicts are extremely reluctant to get help. There are several reasons for this. First, because in many cases the addict really doesn't even see themselves as having a problem. This is especially true of men who get mixed messages from puberty onward that the male should be interested in sex. He does not see his behavior so much as deviant as a sign that he is real man. Second, Even if the sexual addict does admit his sickness to himself he feels so ashamed of his addiction and his behavior that he is reluctant to admit that he has lost control. Third, most sexual addicts have absolutely no idea where to go to get help for their addiction.
So Should We Make Excuses For The Sexual Addict Who Molests A Child Or Commits Rape?
While it is all right to feel sympathy for the sexual addict their addiction should not be used as an excuse when they commit a crime. Just like the alcoholic who kills someone when they get behind the wheel or the car, or the drug addict who injures or kills someone while high the sexual addict is still legally responsible for their actions. They do know right from wrong and know even while they are committing a crime that it is a crime. They need to be held accountable for their actions and society deserves to be protected from those who are out of control.
(Part two of this series discusses who is mostly likely to become sexually addicted and what treatments may be available.)