A glimpse inside the mind of a mother addicted to crack.
I am not proud to admit that I was a mother of 4 the first time I tried smoking crack. I was 29 years old, had a good job, house, several vehicles, and my bills were paid. I was divorced from the father of my oldest two children and married to the father of the youngest two. He had been smoking it for a year. I had no idea. I knew something was wrong with our marriage, but would have never guessed that. I thought he just had "issues". He brought it home one night and said "let's try it together. Just to see what all the fuss is about. We don't have to ever do it again." And my personal favorite- "It will bring us closer together."
At first I was livid. I asked him how dare he bring that in my home where my children were? If I only knew what the future had in store and the things that I would do "where my children were". I finally gave in. I drank but was not an alcoholic. I smoked cigarettes in high school, never stuck with it. How bad could it be. Right? Alcoholics and weak people who smoked cigarettes. Those are the kind of people that became crackheads, not someone like me.
So I tried it. What's the big deal. I was not even impressed. Had no clue what all the fuss was about, I could take it or leave it, so it was harmless. My husband would be happy if I paid for some on the weekends, and he always controlled how I smoked it. I knew the people that lived next door and knew that's where he was getting it.
One night after about 8 weeks of this, he sent me next door to get it. While I was over there, one of the smokers started talking to me. He said "I'll bet you've never even had a real hit." I responded "What are you talking about. I've been smokng this for 8 weeks now." He put a hit into his pipe and said "let me show you what you've been missing." He controlled the flame and told me how to inhale.
That was the moment my life changed forever. I never experienced that kind of feeling. It wasn't long after that I started to realize "Hey, I can just call the dealer myself and smoke some all alone. How cool is that?" I would get home from work early and stop on my way home. It wasn't cutting into anything important like food or bill money, so what could it hurt. Before too long it was daily. Then it started to cut into some things, like food and bill money. That's when the real trouble started, and it was just the very beginning.
Next Factoid will be what how I started to find ways to get the drug when I ran out of money.
Thank you Clairsie. At first I thought it would help others
struggling with these issues for themselves or a loved one, but I
am realizing now that it is a healing process for me as well. If I
can help one person, it will be worthwhile.
The important lesson from this article is just how easy it all
starts. And how anyone can get addicted to something like this. It
is more than yes or no I can leave it when I want, it’s a
physical and mental addiction.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was only 19 when it all started for me and by that time I was already a heroin user. I started combining the two and things went downhill very fast. Fortunately I was able to get help from a place called New Life House. I've been clean and sober for over three years now. If you or a loved one is suffering from crack addiction, they may be able to help. Check out their website at http://www.newlifehouse.com
Posted 72 months ago
ARTICLE DETAILS
Topic: Health Conditions & Diseases
Sub-Topic: Addictions12,557 views — 3 comments — +5 recommendations
Published on May 22, 2009
Last updated on Apr 20, 2018
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Thank you Clairsie. At first I thought it would help others struggling with these issues for themselves or a loved one, but I am realizing now that it is a healing process for me as well. If I can help one person, it will be worthwhile.